Last updated on January 4th, 2024 at 07:46 pm
I could’ve wept when I scooped up that warm, golden broth of love dropped off by a dear friend.
I probably did weep– I don’t remember. But I vividly recall the way that chicken and dumpling soup made me feel.
The blur of my postpartum days is now shelved as a previous stage of my life, but a single, memorable thread runs through it. That thread of the support and kindness shown to me by friends and family members during that time, that held me and guided my healing.
Whether you’re looking to help out a brand-new mother or a seasoned mama who’s just added to her brood, I’m so glad you’re here. The postpartum period can be difficult for a number of reasons, and women can have a tough time asking for help.
I love reaching out to friends of mine who just had babies. Remembering the impact others’ support had on me, I hope to give back in my own way. When I can, I offer recovering moms a warm meal or supplies that can help with caring for their baby. Here are my postpartum care go-to ideas:
Bring postpartum moms a warm, nutritious meal
The tasty and nourishing meals I received after giving birth to my daughter are etched in my mind in swirly cursive. Some were extravagant, multicourse menus, and some consisted of simple fare. All were even more delicious because they came at a time when I needed them most.
When preparing a meal for a new mom, it’s best to start with what you have. Have a recipe down pat? Go with that. Stuck in a crazy busy season? See if it’s possible to just double what you’re making for dinner anyway, or get the food premade.
Since I also need to feed my family in addition to the family I’m helping, I like to double my dinner recipes. I favor making massive pots of soup and divvying it up into clean, repurposed glass pasta sauce jars, served along with fresh baked bread. Soups, especially those made in a crockpot, tend to be relatively quick for me to whip up. Plus, soups provide that necessary postpartum warmth that aids in healing and recovery.
I’ve made chicken soup, creamy sausage and potato soup, and an Asian-inspired broth filled with ginger pork meatballs. This gets paired with bread and some sort of dessert. Being an obsessive hobby baker, I usually have homemade desserts available… or I jump at the chance to try a new recipe. Though I make use of a lot of tried-and-trues, I am totally not afraid to make these meal offerings my opportunity to experiment if I want. (Sorry!) It’s got to be fun for me to keep the passion alive!
Other meals I’ve brought to postpartum families include: lasagna, chicken pot pie, homemade pizza (I make a yummy garlic crust!), pulled pork, teriyaki beef and fried rice, baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and mac’ n’ cheese with a side salad.
If I have extra time, I’ll include a plate of various fruits, homemade muffins, or a pan of unbaked cinnamon rolls with instructions– that way, families have a quick breakfast on hand for the next day, as well.
Shelley Rahim, a postpartum doula and owner of New Mother Caregiving, has an entire post-birth recovery meal plan she offers (for free!) as well as other ideas for helping new moms.
Whatever foods you choose to bring, know that it’s going further than just providing sustenance at a crucial time of need. Bringing families a meal communicates your care for the new mother. Don’t worry about it being perfect– every bite is infused with love! My husband usually helps me pack up the labors of love in a large reusable grocery bag. We load up the car and make the delivery together, making it a family bonding moment as well.
Bring moms needed baby supplies
Another thing that sent me into a pool of my own tears (happy, warm tears!) was when a friend dropped off not only a delicious meal, but a congratulatory card and a pack of diapers.
Diapers are so simple but necessary– you never truly know how valuable they are until you’ve got that brand-new waste-creating cutie in your care.
In the early days of my daughter’s arrival, we found out how frantically we needed certain things. Diapers, sleep sack, a certain breast pump, a wipe warmer for those startlingly cold middle-of-the-night changes. I almost got my credit card shut down for suspected fraud for all of the wacky 2 a.m. purchases. (No, I assured the bank, this is normal. This is my new normal!)
All of that to say– a friend bringing necessary supplies was like a godsend. Juggling breastfeeding issues and my daughter’s jaundice as well as just general newborn needs, it was suddenly almost impossibly difficult for us to journey outside the house. So a text like “Hey! I’m stopping at the grocery store in a bit. Do you need anything?” was basically heralded with trumpet sound and angelic fanfare.
I had one friend who shipped us a box full of baby items— things I didn’t know we needed until we desperately needed them. Items like baby thermometers and baby medicines and nipple cream. Oh, how I missed the naive days of my youth when I didn’t know anything about needing nipple cream!
The package was incredibly thoughtful, useful and a boon to our new little family.
The times I’ve provided supplies to new mamas have been mostly my out-of-state friends. I grab a cute food storage container from Target and fill it with homemade lactation cookies— frozen, so they ship without melting into chocolate oatmeal puddles. Sometimes I include what I hope will be a meaningful handmade gift– like this personalized swaddle, for instance. Hand-stitched with love.
Providing practical and timely newborn supplies can be a huge source of relief to a family running on fumes.
Offer to complete a household chore for new moms
I shamelessly put “house cleaning” on my baby shower registry. I knew that in the real thick of it, a clean home would be one of the most valuable gifts!
My sweet friend, pregnant herself, ended up coming over a few hours and shining things up. Let me tell you, after living amongst the crustiness and night after sleepless night of accumulated mess, it was the best breath of fresh air. I just relaxed a bit, and held and fed my daughter.
Most new moms will be afraid to ask for assistance with any household tasks. My take is this: Though it’s considered polite to give people space, it’s even more polite to just get in there and tackle that sinkful of dirty dishes or sweep the floors! You don’t have to ask or announce it– just do it so you skip that awkward negotiation altogether.
In a time where moms are expected to do it all (or she’s put some unrealistic expectations of herself), give her permission to do all of that work of healing and caring for her newborn while you take care of some of the other essentials. I promise even the simplest acts of service will remain seared into that mama’s heart and mind as powerful supports in her time of need.
Be there for her if she needs
Some friends who want to help postpartum moms may be geographically limited in their ways to help, or through circumstances, find themselves unavailable to give my previous ideas a try. I’m of the mindset that whatever you can do or give at the time is your best gift!
If you’re only available for texts and calls and general emotional support, know that’s no small offering! I benefited greatly from having super caring friends as a sounding board. They expertly handled each of my chaotic texts: “I’m crying randomly and constantly… is that normal?” and “Any suggestions for dealing with pain down there?” or also: “When do babies start sleeping?”
Dealing with the intense physical, mental and emotional demands of early motherhood was one of the greatest challenges of my life– but we were held together by family members and friends, helping us in inumerable and various ways. Each small act of kindness interlaced to form a constellation of support. I am forever grateful for their efforts, and that’s why I continue to help recovering mothers any time I can.
Moms, friends of moms– did I miss anything? What are ways you’ve helped or been helped? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments below!
