Last updated on December 11th, 2023 at 05:54 pm
Growing up, I assumed teaching was a family-friendly career choice. Educating young minds in the classroom seemed like a natural bridge to instructing and raising youngsters of my own– but is it really possible to effectively handle teaching and motherhood?
While it’s true there are many similarities between teaching and parenting (with the overlap seeming to swell as the teacher role expands), it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s an ideal mix.
Based on my early assumptions, teachers could simply work during the school day while their own children were in school, and the family could carpool home together for a rich and full family life with no depletions of energy or scheduling conflicts at all. Presumably, as a Teacher Mom, I could artfully usher my hoarde of students through hours of engaging instruction and then hop home with my kiddos for a relaxing evening of homework, hugs, and homemade meals.
This depiction would prove to be as much a fantasy as the children’s book lining my shelves.
Motherhood and teaching: a precarious balancing act
Sure, there are some teachers who are fantastic parents. But I have yet to hear an account of anyone who is thriving in both roles.
In the UK, an educator of over a decade declared teaching to be a “family unfriendly” profession, and I’d have to agree.
Both roles are so important. You’re doing the meaningful work of pouring into children– other people’s and your own. But can a teacher and mom negotiate both these crucial responsibilities well?
The workload of a modern teacher doesn’t jive well with motherhood
The system has a workload problem: it’s bulging and cracking with the immense weight.
The hours a teacher puts into just the instruction and supervision of children can total up to a full work week. Then adding on top of that the preparation and planning that goes into all of it, and it can feel like a whole other added job.
When I was single and childless as a teacher, I could feel the huge workload but felt that I could (and almost that I was obligated to) shoulder it. Maybe because I had less people in my life counting on me, I felt like I could keep up with the demands of the job.
I realized that taking on the extra (unpaid) hours of work would be unsustainable for me if I added members to my family. I would have to make cuts somewhere, and I didn’t want it to be to my family and personal life.
Most schools are ill-equipped to support frequent absences
There are few professions where an absence needs to be filled by another person because of a need for staff physically present in the room. Even fewer positions require a full and detailed explanation of the day’s work. Many teachers would rather try everything to come in than worry about piecing together the dreaded sub plans.
Having children throws in more unexpected variables that cause teachers to call out.
Even if a teacher makes the tough decision to take off, from what I’ve seen, most of our campuses aren’t in a strong position to accommodate teacher parents or teachers with medical cases or teachers needing any other sort of recurring coverage needs, because we can’t seem to find a way to sustain a healthy base of subs.
I substitute teach, and I’ve written about the experience, the positives and the pitfalls. I won’t hold back in admitting how challenging a job it is, though. It’s no wonder it’s not a particularly tempting position for people, why the sub pools seem to run habitually dry.
Almost like a vicious cycle, when teachers are overloaded then need to take a minute there’s more of a need for subs, and when sub positions aren’t filled, teachers become more overwhelmed by the job. Hello, burnout.
But the reverse is also true: supporting substitutes means supporting teachers, and that circles back into supporting subs.
Support for amazing teacher moms
There are so many teachers out there excellently navigating their professional and parenting roles. I admire you and hope you feel supported. (And I beg you to share your expert-level secrets with us!) I know it’s difficult to balance but not impossible.
With focused time directed toward home and school duties and asking for help for other tasks, this teacher mom wrote about her tactics for juggling it all.
Or maybe you’re in the thick of a more demanding season of motherhood, like the infancy stage, and choose to take a few-year hiatus. You may want to return to teaching when the parenting intensity eases.
It can be done, but no one out there is saying it’s easy.
Personally, I made the difficult choice to settle in where I thought I’d make the most impact– in my home. Teachers, moms– what are your thoughts?
