Last updated on February 21st, 2024 at 03:53 am
Surely you’ve seen various mementos and trinkets cutely embellished with quotes like “Teaching is a work of heart” or “Teachers who love teaching teach children to love learning.”
Maybe you’ve wondered, like I have, if there are any sayings and catchphrases for substitute teachers besides “Here’s your key” and “Ooh we have a substitute!”
We’re distinct enough to warrant our own platitudes, right?
Not to worry, I’ve got you covered!
It is my hope and dream that this list leaves you feeling inspired, related to, and fired up to go into yet another strange classroom to face a roomful of new children. May you be motivated to brave even, say, Kindergarten classes or cover for the highschool band teacher.
Inspiring Substitute Teacher Quotes and Sayings
“Loud bad funny brilliant sullen blithe anxious children. If I were a real teacher, I would go completely nuts. I love them.” Nicholson Baker, Substitute: Going to School with a Thousand Kids
After reading aloud “The BFG” by Roald Dahl to a class:
“The whole class was motionless….Everyone was listening…’Wow,’ I said. ‘Should I read some more?’ ‘YES,’ said the class. It was the first time they’d spoken in unison since they’d said ‘I will be the best that I can be’ at the beginning of the day…. Thank you, Roald Dahl—you difficult, arrogant, brilliant genius…. The funny thing was, Dahl’s story of the Big Friendly Giant had a residual effect. The class paid more attention to my voice afterward.” Nicholson Baker, Substitute: Going to School with a Thousand Kids
“Teachers are expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. The miracle is that at times they accomplish this impossible task.” Haim Ginott
“Teaching is the most rebelliously defiantly hopeful thing we can do in the world.” Paraphrased from Instagram
“It is the lives we encounter that make life worth living.” Guy de Maupassant
“Whether it’s for one day or one year or a lifetime– you’ll never regret investing in a child’s life.” Charmaine, Chocolate for the Teach
“With subbing, every single day is an adventure.” Unknown
Teacher for a Day: a poem
I’m your teacher for the day
For just one day I get a say
I get to see what makes you smile
I get to visit and stay a while
Guiding your path
Teaching grammar, manners or math
When we part at the bell’s ring
I hope you’ve learned at least just one thing:
That today you had a teacher rooting for you
“You’re a good sub.” A third-grade student I subbed for
Funny Substitute Teacher Quotes and Sayings
“I went back and ate a second sandwich in my room, wondering whether this was in fact the worst day of my life.” Nicholson Baker, Substitute: Going to School with a Thousand Kids
“I’m just looking to keep the room at a low rumble.” Reddit user phlipsidejdp
“Insubordinate and churlish!” Mr. Garvey, an out-of-touch substitute teacher character played in a Comedy Central sketch by Keegan-Michael Key.
“I should be able to hear a mouse fart!” One of my sayings to the kids when I want them to be very quiet.
“The beauty of substituting is its flexibility. I’m sorry. Let me rephrase. The only beauty of substituting is its flexibility.” Belle of the Library on her blog post titled “Why did I ever go back to high school?!?!”
“I would rather be an unpaid counselor at Camp Green Lake than a sub. Thanks for doing this!” Teacher I worked with
Finding substitute teacher quotes
I realize that some thoughtful families and staff members may want to include substitutes in upcoming Teacher Appreciation celebrations. They may scour the Internet, hoping for fresh ideas, specifically tuned to substitute teaching.
My heart swells at any show of gratitude towards substitute teachers, so I tried to help gather some fun, inspiring and relateable quotes to aid in the process.
It took a bit of research and finesse to gather these gems. At first, there was nothing specifically sub-related to unearth. I found a colloquial term called Substitute arms. Urban dictionary defines the flattering phrase as “the flabby, wing-like flaps on the bottom part of a woman’s upper arms; that every time they wave or write on the board the skin flaps in the air.”
So there is at least something currently in the cultural imagination about substitute teachers.
There are a few representations of subs in the media, and I sifted through these just to find any words of worth. I found most of these quotes from longer works such as the Substitute Teacher skit by Key and Peele and writer Nicholson Baker’s account of substitute teaching in in his book titled (quite aptly) Substitute. I wholeheartedly recommend these works– both can be labeled funny and depressing, depending on how you see it.
Like the mixed bag that is substitute teaching, the few media forms I’ve found on the topic of reflect that miscellany. Subbing can be wonderful sometimes, and sometimes it leaves me breathlessly stressed out and combing the job boards.
(If you feel this way, too, you’re not alone.)
This list is nowhere near complete– if you have a favorite substitute teacher quote, please let me know either in the comments or through email!
